Wednesday, October 31, 2001 | 02:39 a.m.

note to self: download

Wednesday, October 31, 2001 | 12:16 a.m.

updated my journal

Tuesday, October 30, 2001 | 01:22 a.m.

i can't stop listening to 'chocolate brown' by the cranberries. i feel sort of alone and i can feel ranger starting in. i'm beating him off with my bitch stick. and tera and relm and fighting him too. that's why i really wanted them. they make me smile. silly isn't it. they do though. just hearing the wheel squeaking makes me smile.

i need to go to bed. i'm actually tired but i'm so used to staying up. i find it hard to go to bed before 2am now. not good.

i think i'm gonna dye my hair. hmmmmm.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 10:49 p.m.

mouse watch:
relm's being super-hyper again. she's running the wheel fast enough to power a small power plant. i realize now that relm's a little smaller than tera and she always comes to the cage if i stick my finger out. i'm going into the city tomorrow so i'll try and get her a run-about ball. one that glows in the dark. should be fun. tera's in the nest looking at relm be weird. they're too cute.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 10:13 p.m.

peterpan

.... oooh boy.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 05:48 p.m.

note to self: check out

... site from jay.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 04:05 p.m.

commercial on 99x.com...

"brad? tina? you say there's a problem in your relationship?"
"yesterday, i came home early and caught brad ... uh ... i can't even say it!
"go ahead"
"he ... he was lusting after a beer in a see-through bottle like some kind of animal!"
"i wasn't a beer. it was a new castle. and i was just admiring its body."
"beer should be covered up in a dark bottle where it wouldn't be a temptation for decent people!"
"just because a beer's a dark bottle doesn't make it decent, tina!"
*gasp* ... "i don't even know you anymore!"

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 03:13 p.m.

ok, it's officially 'ask the angel boi stupid questions' day. i just need a few more tele-marketers to call.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 03:01 p.m.

email from eric: call me

so i call...
"you do realize i live in jersey, right?"

"yeah."

"and you do realize that every time i call it's long distance, right?"

"ok so let me call you."

"mmmm'k."

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 01:31 a.m.

vicky** (1:28:54 AM): hey, i have to get a gyno apt. should i take out my cunt rings?
wingdboi (1:29:28 AM): i should think so

i love that girl. seriously. she's the only person i know who would ask me that in the middle of telling me about a bee sting. vicky kicks ass!

weird thing is ... i don't remember how we found each other but i'm glad i know her.

Monday, October 29, 2001 | 01:12 a.m.

mouse watch:
relm is running around the cage like she's on something. reminds me of something ron told me today. about his son feeding mice pot seeds and the mouse getting high. *laughs* i don't know if it's true or not. right now relm's acting as if she's high.

i downloaded the entire new cranberries album. it is sooooo good. i'll buy it eventually. i'm still not buying any cd's until i get my mini disc player. isn't that insane though? i mean ... you can't play cd's on a minidisc player. so ... why not just get a new discman? because i like downloading music and making mixes and i love that minidisc are virtually shock-proof.

why do people like messaging me and asking for my name after just saying hello? how do they find me? really ... how? it's like ... "dude, i don't even know you."

i'm convinced that people have no manners anymore. 'ASL' is the new opening line. ugh. i don't get humans.

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 08:57 p.m.

i think mint-flavored floss is one of the best things in the world. seriously.

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 01:47 p.m.

mouse watch:
if tera and relm were human ... they would've been out clubbing last night. they were up all night wheeling and fixing up their cage. now they're curled up in the nest grooming themselves. relm was pretty hyper last night. again ... that's the only way i can tell them apart. when i'm cleaning the cage during the week ... i'll mark one of them.

they're moving around inside the nest more now. hehe ... ok ... how much do i need a life if i'm commentating everything my pet mice are doing?

oh oh! one of them's chewing on the nest now.

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 12:31 p.m.

updated my journal

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 03:13 a.m.

my body knows it's really 4:13 and I should go to sleep. but my eyes, even though tired ... look at the clock and see that it's 3:13.

daylight savings sucks. but only when it doesn't save you from a deadline or something.

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 02:25 a.m.

mouse watch:
now they're doing something with the cage. like a little martha stewart and lynnette jennings. pulling some of the wood shavings around. i could watch them for hours. i guess i have been watching them for hours.

Sunday, October 28, 2001 | 01:27 a.m.

i should be at roxy right now. wearing wings and glitter. dancing and possibly being touched by random guys as i push through the crowd on the dance floor.

i should be with rudy and ro right now. having fun and probably meeting new people. maybe even running into aaron and smirking as i ignore him and spitefully flirt with the nearest guy.

i should be doing all that but when i hear the squeaky wheel and look over and tera and relm ... i smile and then i know that they were worth it.

Friday, October 26, 2001 | 02:34 a.m.

i kicked some serious ass. started my portfolio and now i'm going to bed. yee haa!!

Thursday, October 25, 2001 | 01:25 a.m.

i should change my birthday to october 24. or just make it sorta like an 'unofficial birthday'. the day was just cool. headache setting in though. i have to write about it tomorrow and update my journal.

.... listening to 'elton john - guess that's why they call it blues'.

..."laughing like children
... living like lovers
... rolling like thunder
..under the covers."

Wednesday, October 24, 2001 | 03:29 p.m.

i need wings. for a costume. rudy and some other people are going to roxy or limelight this weekend in costume. i have to go!

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 | 04:59 p.m.

i ... need ... chocolate!

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 | 12:39 p.m.

it's after 12 and i just noticed i haven't eaten anything yet. and i've been up since around 9:30. i have to go hunting for quarters in a while so i can do my laundry while i work. thing with working from home is ... people expect you to do nothing but work. lunch break? what's that? sleep? ha! my room's a little of a mess. i was hunting for some pictures i took summer last year. i can't find 'em anywhere. i'm thinking i left them in brooklyn at bryan's. totally sucks! pics i took when i went back to the caribbean last year. i can just see them sitting there on a table in his apartment!

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 | 02:58 a.m.

note to self: check out

... another bin laden flash movie.

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 | 01:32 a.m.

october 23rd is now official use-of-the-word-"nitwit" day

mk**: i don't believe i've ever actually used the word "nitwit" before.
mk**: How delightful
wingdboi: woo hoo! we should make a note hehe
mk**: 23 october is official use-of-the-word-"nitwit" day
wingdboi: damn skippy!

i have way too much free time.

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 10:45 p.m.

note to self: check out

... kick-ass site ten told me about earlier.

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 04:30 p.m.

funny as hell!

...one of the funniest bin laden animations i've seen lately.

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 11:48 a.m.

the analysis below is so true it's scary. even down to the depressing: "you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy"

...i have to work on that. i also have to go shower and get started on some work i need to finish. i hate mondays.

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 11:15 a.m.

test: what is your working style?

Here is your analysis

You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When you are care, you care deeply, but are more likely to show your feeling by deeds rather than words. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people you care about.

You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve.

In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give and inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.

You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words.

You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are perfectionists whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability.

The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself.

It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed.

Suitable Careers: (ones in orange are ones i've thought about in the past, * indicates what i actually do)

artist*, beautician, botanist, carpenter, clerical worker, computer operator, counselor, dancer, dental and medical assistant, designer*, dietician or nutritionist, factory worker, food service worker, forester, gardener, geologist, marine biologist, mechanic, nurse, occupational therapist, optician, physical therapist, police officer, recreation leader, secretary, teacher, veterinarian or assistant

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 01:54 a.m.

i mentioned before that guys have internal sensors. you stop thinking about 'em ... start getting over 'em and ... wham! they show up again.

well ... it seems as though guys you don't even know have that same power. they know that you're listening to huge amounts of tori amos and they show up. a random message on yahoo! or a random smile on the sidewalk. a glance.

...i just hope the wall i'm building will be strong enough.

Monday, October 22, 2001 | 12:54 a.m.

i hate that stupid saying:
"if you fall off a horse, get right back on..."

my theory:
"if you fall off a horse, look around to see if anyone saw. then you shoot the damn thing, bury it somewhere in jersey and take a cab."

... peta would be so pleased with me huh.

Sunday, October 21, 2001 | 08:07 p.m.

Jungen Lüge.

Sunday, October 21, 2001 | 07:58 p.m.

updated my journal

Sunday, October 21, 2001 | 06:01 p.m.

when you update your imood ... the little window always says, "you are now feeling ...."

when it just said, "you are now feeling alone" .... i felt more so.

Sunday, October 21, 2001 | 05:56 p.m.

i still wonder what i'm doing wrong. why they don't stay. not attractive enough? not easy enough? too easy? what?

not that my life is nearly as glamorous enough ... but it reminds me of that 'sex & the city' episode when carrie asked big what it was. and he told her things were too complicated and with natasha ... everything was so much easier.

am i a 'carrie'? am i too complicated? or do i just make things that way?

..... *sigh*

Sunday, October 21, 2001 | 03:37 a.m.

note to self: check out

...xiao xiao. sweeeeeet! i so have to learn flash.

Saturday, October 20, 2001 | 09:05 p.m.

updated my journal

...five more entries and my diary turns evil. i have 661 entries right now.

on another note ... i was just eating tortellini and apple juice/ginger ale and started choking when i took a sip. ginger ale is some dangerous shit.

Saturday, October 20, 2001 | 04:38 p.m.

so now i'm horny and jason isn't around. oh ... jason's becoming my designated online fuck-buddy. yay for designated fuck-buddies! hmmm ... i don't think i've ever written about him.

ugh ... i was eating chocolate cake in bed earlier and i just found some crumbs on my sheets. on my white sheets.

laundry tonight since i'm not going anywhere. yay for not having a life!

Friday, October 19, 2001 | 07:59 p.m.

note to self: check out

... a link from ten. write a novel in a month.

Friday, October 19, 2001 | 07:28 p.m.

chat smiles are so much easier to make than real ones. i should print a really big one out and stick it over my face.

Friday, October 19, 2001 | 07:12 p.m.

... now i'm reverting. i really need to stop reading tyler's journal.

seriously. but i can't delete the bookmark. i should and then clean my internet cache so it's really gone. *sigh*

Friday, October 19, 2001 | 06:38 p.m.

the day itself wasn't bad. i'm sitting here eating a turkey sandwich i got from the deli before coming home. the city felt weird when i got back from white plains ... so i came right home.

i sorta feel a little better i guess. still alone but ... i dunno. i have to update my site later tonight. or maybe tomorrow when i get up.

Friday, October 19, 2001 | 08:37 a.m.

feeling better? hardly. i have to go get ready and head into the city in a while then up to white plains. i really don't feel like it. i already see a little of how today's going to be. i wish i didn't have to get out of bed at all.

Thursday, October 18, 2001 | 10:04 p.m.

note to self: check out

... yoga basics

Thursday, October 18, 2001 | 07:19 p.m.

i'm sitting in my room eating pizza. alone. and i feel ... i dunno what i feel. i know i feel ranger breathing down the back of my neck. but ... it goes deeper than that. walking back with the pizza ... i just felt so alone. i mean ... really really alone. no one to share it with. no friends coming over to hang out. no friends to go over and hang out with. if i had my mice already i'd share my pizza with 'em.

i just feel crappy...

Thursday, October 18, 2001 | 04:57 a.m.

note to self: research

mouse links

Thursday, October 18, 2001 | 04:43 a.m.

'starbucksing' isn't a halfway uncool word. i'm getting a pet mouse. decision's made. i went to petco's website. pretty much everything i need, including the mouse ... comes up to like 10 bucks or so. i can afford that. i'll get him one of those 'run about balls'. a glow-in-the-dark one! how cool is that?! i'm totally psyched. seriously.

as pathetic as it sounds .... at least i'll have company.

Thursday, October 18, 2001 | 03:36 a.m.

i seriously think i want a digital camera. i also seriously think i want a pet mouse.

i can get a mouse for like 2 bucks at petco. and i have 2 bucks.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 | 08:42 p.m.

reviewed!

I can't believe it! I got a perfect score!
... i'd like to thank the academy .... *7 hours later*... oh ... and the rainforests. oh ... and that stray kitten i brought home when i was 8. i'd like to thank my fans ... the little people. my personal assistant. who is such a slow-ass ... i intend to fire! i'd like to thank my attorney for 'taking care' of the diary reviews board. the hooker for posing for some of the pictures we used to blackmail 'em. d'oh! did i just say that? can you edit that out?

seriously ... thanx to kick-ass nicole for actually reading my entries to review me. probably checking into therapy right now.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 | 03:45 p.m.

jiffybags...

... are cool! kick-ass james likes jiffy bags! i think we just call 'em mailing envelopes here in the u.s. or is there some special tagname i don't know about?

i'm getting ready in a while to leave white plains. i sorta wanted to stay long enough until aaron got off work. but ... that's not gonna happen. he has crazy hours this week so i wont see him for a while probably. blah. this hi-c juice i'm drinking has a bad after-taste.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 | 09:42 a.m.

know what's a good 'morning' song? malibu by hole. also good for getting ready to go out. dagnabit! it's just a cool song. i just got out of the shower. mmmm ... what did man do before hot water?

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 | 08:38 a.m.

i'm actually up before 9. i woke up in a sort of panic thinking i totally overslept and was late for white plains. mark's playing guitar but sorta quietly. he probably thinks i'm still asleep. which ... usually i would be.

jim and i were chatting the other night. he wants me to call him when i'm in white plains today. i doubt i'll have time to meet him for lunch if i wanted. see ... i don't take lunch breaks. lunch breaks = the time it takes to walk to the food court at the mall or the deli downstairs ... and back.

i should get up and get ready in a while. i just don't feel like going anywhere.

i always leave a browser open now with cnn so i can see what the hell's happening the minute i look at my laptop. an israeli minister was killed. assassinated. the state the world's in right now needs like ... a mom. yes. a mom. she'd put her hands on her hips and say something like, "osama bin laden! now you tell dubya you're sorry and go to your room! no tv and dessert for a month! now, young man! and tomorrow, you're getting that beard trimmed. no arguments, mister!"

then she'd make people clean up afghanistan before bedtime and bake cookies.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 | 02:28 a.m.

buffy was good tonight/last night. i like the way they show real emotion like that. and in a show like buffy of all shows, y'know. but seeing her sad and hearing her say "i can't do this" ... i dunno. it just makes it so much cooler. mark watched it with me. every 5 minutes he would say "she's hot". and when he wasn't doing that ... he was asking me why certain things were the way they were and basically asking me everything about the show. it was cool watching it with him though. we never do stuff together.

he got an extra tv like last week. he said i could put it in my room until he got the entertainment center he wants to setup in the living room. problem is ... i have no furniture. but if i actually get to ikea this weekend, i'll get him to get an extra cable box. i miss watching the ridiculous amounts of tv i used to watch. i mean ... i was like a walk tv guide. now i'm so out of the loop. would be great to soak up some mtv and cartoon network.

my birthday's in almost 2 weeks. at first i figured if i actually have money ... i'd buy myself that mini disc player i really really want. *sigh* but now ... since my palm pilot spazzed out and keeps resetting when it feels like it and is basically falling apart on me ... i really should put my money towards a new one. i found a good one on amazon and added it to my wish list last night. that and a kick ass case.

ten's birthday's in a couple days and i want to get her something. even if it means putting off on my palm pilot. i really want to get her something. she's just been such a cool friend. i think i've known her a year now. i have to get her something. i've seen her wish list and i think i already have an idea of what i want to get for her.

i have to be up at a reasonable time and i'm still up. blah. i'm starting to fade, actually. just not fast enough. i'm listening to the song from that volkswagen cabrio commercial. i can't believe i found it. pink moon by nick drake. such a pretty song.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001 | 11:28 p.m.

note to self: download

that cool notepad sabrina was talking about.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001 | 11:11 p.m.

my name's finally in the 'currently' reviewing queue at diary reviews. so ... wait ... does that mean they could be sneaking around my site right now? *gets all paranoid*

i was chatting with bryce a while ago on aim. i check out his site last night and signed his guestbook. i always try to sign guestbooks. i'm weird like that. he emailed me back. well ... first i got an auto response ... then he emailed me. so i emailed him back and then he messaged me through my site. funny sometimes how you meet people and make friends online huh. he's a cool guy.

i have to update in a while. i'm just getting my entries together. sometimes updating in bulk sucks. sometimes the only reason i don't update is because i can't think of a title for a particular entry. i know that's weird ... but i like having decent titles for my entries. i'm that much of a perfectionist i guess. i have to update though, because it's been a while. and if i don't before i go to bed ... i wont have time until maybe friday. and that's too long.

hmmm ... i guess that's why i'm really liking this blog thing. i don't always have to think of a title for entries. and i don't feel the need to keep all my blogs in wordpad like my diary entries. cuz this is ... lighter. it's like 'wingd-ponylite'. all of wingd but ... it won't fill you up. ok ... now i'm getting silly.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001 | 02:18 a.m.

how to disappear completely...

that there
that's not me
i go
where I please
i walk through walls
i float down the liffey
i'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here


in a little while
i'll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah it's gone
and I'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here


strobe lights and blown speakers
fireworks and hurricanes
i'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here

i © radiohead

Monday, October 15, 2001 | 11:14 p.m.

tyler

.... i'll never have that will i? ...someone who can't stop thinking about me when we're apart. having them say i make them feel good when they're with me. i can't even get aaron to return calls.

Monday, October 15, 2001 | 10:22 p.m.

i couldn't find a decent enough pumpkin for my site ... sooo ... i made my own animated gif.

Monday, October 15, 2001 | 11:36 a.m.

you learn the best things in chat:
"my mother made me a homosexual"

"if i give her the yarn, will she make me one too?"

*laughs* ... too funny!
ok ... i'm gonna go shower and haul ass into the city.

Monday, October 15, 2001 | 10:32 a.m.

is there anything better than waking up and feeling cotton sheets against your naked skin? and just staying that way for a while .... letting the cloth barely touch you.

i have to get ready and get into the city. i have to drop by keri's office and get to utrecht to get my colored penciles. fox was telling me about watercolor pencils last night. those may be exactly what i need. and utrecht should have 'em

Sunday, October 14, 2001 | 07:54 p.m.

i'm a sellout. *sigh*

Sunday, October 14, 2001 | 06:56 p.m.

i'm thinking of selling out and getting .... dun dun duuuuun! ... reviewed. but i'd get pissed if they took off points for something really stupid. little things like that piss me off. like when they reviewed my buddy, kick-ass james and took off points for something he had no control over. the 'previous' and 'next' links being weird. that's a diaryland thing. happens everytime i update and takes a while to go away. i've seen it happen on a lot of other diaries i read too. he got an 89. in my book though he's over 90. cuz he's kick-ass james. dagnabit!

Sunday, October 14, 2001 | 05:29 p.m.

i emailed andrew...

... last night. i was chatting with vicky and she was saying she misses this guy who's crazy over her. he's swedish and then i started thinking about andrew. he's swedish too. and then i thought, "why not email him and tell him hi." i haven't emailed him in a good long while. so ... i did. just asking how he's doing and whatever. then i felt i shouldnt've after i clicked 'send'. i'm such a dope!

there are too many men in my life and still ... none that seem to stay around for long. blah!

Sunday, October 14, 2001 | 04:57 a.m.

i dont go to schools that will admit me,
i dont go clubs that will let me in.
i'm looking for some one who is way too good for me.
but will settle for less

aaron had that in an online profile. i think it's so cool.

Sunday, October 14, 2001 | 12:19 a.m.

moral question for you

Here's a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think you will find it beneficial to think through this exercise.

The situation:

You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. You're a freelance photographer for a news service, you're traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes that you can shoot. You come across Osama Bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You have to make a choice. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb.

So, here's the question...and think carefully before you answer it:

Which lens would you use?

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 09:04 p.m.

i smell tuna. now i have a craving for a tuna salad sandwich

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 06:51 p.m.

i was very bored. still am. so i decided to post my top 10 favorite entries just for the hell of it.

- End of another sad day
- Phantom Contact Lens ...... a 'blond' moment
- Perfect day .... in the Perfect City
- What If I Jump?
- Boots, Snow, Subway Guy & Brunch
- He'll Be Special And ... I Will Love Him
- Friday: After Leaving Norm's
- Poetry: Moronic Late Lover:
- Last Night/This Morning: S.I Ferry Trip & The Cute Bartender Again
- Take Off The Tank Top! We Don't Want To Hurt You!

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 06:38 p.m.

note to self: download

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 06:08 p.m.

kick-ass james is kick-ass...

...and he helped me fix all the frickin images again.

edward just messaged me. sometimes i hate it when he does now. i usually just try and be as apathetic as possible until he goes away. he never chats for long anyway. always busy busy busy. i could never get that. *sigh* or maybe i'll just never get guys. humans baffle me.

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 03:02 p.m.

oh ... i forgot. hypermart wants 6 bucks from me because i went over my bandwidth or whatever. i had a file on the server and i guess too many people downloaded it. it was actually an mp3 file of a song i thought was very comforting after the 9-11 attacks. blah. never try to do good things. i only had the file available for a little while and a few people said they really liked it.

what irks me is the fact that they already killed the account and want me to pay. blah

and i still can't find a good site to host my images. i'll probably have to lock my journal for a while till i can figure something out. i dunno what else to do.

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 02:49 p.m.

i feel totally shitty and i can't even explain it. like 'go back to bed and wish i never got up' shitty. blah. i should go for a walk or something and shake the feeling. i want to go out tonight, maybe see a movie but i'm dead broke. i have like 17 bucks. that's it. yay me!

Saturday, October 13, 2001 | 06:36 a.m.

nyquil makes me feel weird and makes me touch myself. what's that about? i like it though. i'm weird. i'm going to sleep.

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 07:37 p.m.

d'oh! almost forgot

note to self: check out that 'curve' site later. now step away from the laptop and go take a nap.

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 07:33 p.m.

updated my journal

...and now i'm going to take a nap. this headache just wont go away and i'm starting to feel sick. blah

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 09:08 a.m.

five or six or however many hours i got just weren't enough. i feel like going back to sleep. i'm not sniffly though. i © nyquil. really. i do. blah. i'd love to stay here naked in bed listening to bic runga but i should get up and go get ready.

"... say you'll stay. don't come and go like you do. sway my way. yeah i need to know ... all about you."

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 03:05 a.m.

note to self: mongo droids

hey dumbass. check out that site later. nyquil's here. mmmmm feels so good with my whole body getting limp like this. finally ... sleep.

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 02:41 a.m.

still ... awake. i feel like masturbating just to fall asleep. but not really in the mood. well ... that's never stopped me before but still. mark's on the phone and whatever it is sounds kinda serious for some reason. i'm lousy at eavesdropping. blah.

Friday, October 12, 2001 | 02:20 a.m.

why the hell am i still up? i have to be up in like 6 hours. mark got home a while ago. i'm waiting for the nyquil i took to kick in. i'm just talking to sam about a sketch he did earlier. i always wonder i can't have that kind of discipline. i have like absolutely zero self-discipline. i thought a lot about tyler for some reason tonight. probably because of this blog thing. it's just what he wanted. not a real journal just something for blogs. i thought of messaging him on aim about it ... but i took his name off already. i felt i was bothering him when i messaged him.

that's one thing i hate ... bothering people. i have to update my journal tomorrow. probably while i'm in white plains. i would love to do it before but i wont have enough time.

Thursday, October 11, 2001 | 11:08 p.m.

how much ass can people kiss?

her messageboard cracks me up. i read her diary sometimes. her writing's not that bad. i'm not a pro or anything. then someone pointed out something very true. i've never really seen her write about anything other than boys. which ... i guess is what a lot of 15 year olds think about? just sad that there's much more.

then i read an entry about her wanting breast implants ...she lost major points there.

Thursday, October 11, 2001 | 09:37 p.m.

hitler? gay?

so maybe i saw the dream wrong. maybe hitler wanted a threesome or something?

Thursday, October 11, 2001 | 08:44 p.m.

99x.com

that station kicks ass! ... um ... ok. i needed something for a first entry and that's what i'm listening to.