Friday, November 30, 2001 | 10:02 p.m.

i'm a true scorpio

Friday, November 30, 2001 | 10:00 a.m.

... ever wake up feeling you're the last person left alive?

Friday, November 30, 2001 | 01:48 a.m.

rejection line.com...

... "hey you ..... i'm scared. i'm scared of committing to or even casually dating you. because you are that intimidating and impressive."

it's still as funny as the day husani and i called the number.

Thursday, November 29, 2001 | 03:58 p.m.

too much corn pops hurts the roof of my mouth. so damn crunchy and good!

Wednesday, November 28, 2001 | 10:03 p.m.

i am tired.
i go to sleep now.
..zzz.z...zzz

Wednesday, November 28, 2001 | 11:57 a.m.

note to self: download

... gif animater

Wednesday, November 28, 2001 | 10:12 a.m.

why the hell did i buy skim milk?

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 | 11:17 p.m.

my room's usually clean. but right now i have all the packaging from that exercise machine all over my floor, sketch pads and other books all over my bed and i'm just too tired to do anything about it right now. at least i can sleep in tomorrow. i want to update my journal before going into the city. might not pull that off though.

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 | 10:26 a.m.

ever sent an email and then soon after wish you could tap in and delete it before they read it? why couldn't i be a hacker?

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 | 02:17 a.m.

i need to go to sleep but i'm not really tired. my eyes are though. only because i'm wearing my glasses. i'm sitting here talking to sam with a silly grin on my face. a silly grin because i'm thinking about someone who i probably shouldn't be thinking about.

Monday, November 26, 2001 | 09:03 p.m.

stupid humans make me barf.

Monday, November 26, 2001 | 06:54 p.m.

i can't get this song out of my head. it's so beautiful. i love that line: 'what i do i don't want to do and so goes the story'

jennifer knapp
a little more

turn your eyes from on this way
i have proved to live a dastardly day
i hid my face from the saints and the angels
who sing of your glory
what you had in mind
my weakness shines
show me grace

a little more than i can give
a little more than i deserve
unearth this holiness i can't earn
it's a little more than i can give
a little more than i deserve

for all the sin that lives in me
it took a nail to set me free still,
what i do i don't want to do and so goes the story
what you had in mind
what we seek we'll find
shine, show me grace

with all this motivation i still find a hesitation
deep in my soul
despite all my demanding
i still find you understanding
show me grace
show me grace i know is

Monday, November 26, 2001 | 06:27 p.m.

what is it about mondays that makes me so incredibly lazy? right now i'm thinking i have to do laundry and i should get up and get started. just ... can't ... find ... the strength. not that i have to do laundry. i have enough to wear. but there's this one shirt that i want to wear into the city tomorrow and the damn thing's in my laundry basket.

Monday, November 26, 2001 | 03:36 a.m.

hi ... moshi moshi

Monday, November 26, 2001 | 12:33 a.m.

hooverphonic
eden

did you ever think of me
as your best friend

did i ever think of you
i'm not complaining

i never tried to feel
i never tried to feel this vibration
i never tried to reach
i never tried to reach your eden

did i ever think of you
as my enemy

did you ever think of me
i'm complaining

i never tried to feel
i never tried to feel this vibration
i never tried to reach
i never tried to reach your eden

Sunday, November 25, 2001 | 08:35 p.m.

damn headache!

Sunday, November 25, 2001 | 04:22 a.m.

sam is too cool:

the sweater - meryn cadell

girls, i know you understand this and feel the intrinsic incredible emotion you have just pulled over your head the worn, warm sweater belonging to a boy now you haven’t had a passionate kissing session or anything, but you got to go on a camping trip with him and 8 other people from school and you practically slept together, your sleeping bag right next to his and you woke in the night to watch him as he slept, but you couldn’t see anything because it was dark so you just lay there and listened to his breathing and wondered if your heart might burst

the sweater has that slightly goat-like smell which all teenage boys possess, and that smell will lovingly transfer to all your other clothes if you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it, but don’t let your mom see because she’ll say, “what is that filthy thing, and who does it belong to besides the trash man?” so you’ll have to keep it under the covers with you you can kind of lie it beside you or wrap it around your waist or touch it on your legs or whatever, that’s your business

now if the sweater has, like, reindeer on it or is a funny color like yellow, i’m sorry but you can’t get away with a sweater like that. look for brown or gray or blue anything other than that and you know you’re dealing with someone who’s different and different is not what you’re looking for you’re looking for those alpine-ski chiseled features and that sort of blank look which passes for deep thought or at least the notion that someone’s home you’re looking for the boy of your dreams who is the same boy in the dreams of all of your friends

now the sweater isn’t going to fit you, of course you can kind of roll up the sleeves in a jaunty way that says, “this is the sweater belonging to a boy and the boy is a genuine hunk-a hunk-a burning love and this is not just some hand-me-down from your brother or your father”

monday, wear the sweater to school be calm, look cute don’t tell him about the dream you had about the place the two of you would share when you get older, just be yourself the best, cutest, quietest person of yourself definitely wear lip gloss he looks at you and he looks away and then he walks away and the smell of the sweater hits you again suddenly like ape-scent gloriola and you get a note passed to you by a girl in history that says he needs his sweater back, he forgot that you put it on in the tent on saturday and he’s been looking for it and you don’t have to die of humiliation you are a strong person and this is a learning experience you can still hold your head up high as you run from the classroom tearing the stinking sweater from your body

you look at that sweater, carefully and you realize that love made you temporarily blind you’ve got a secret now, honey, and though you would never sink as low as him you could blab it all over the school if you wanted the label in that sweater said 100% acrylic

Sunday, November 25, 2001 | 04:03 a.m.

ok ... so if i'm so cute, sweet and funny ... then why's a 'use once and destroy' sticker on my forehead?

Sunday, November 25, 2001 | 02:16 a.m.

you and i in a little toy shop
buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
set them free at the break of dawn
'til one by one, they were gone
back at base, bugs in the software
flash the message, "something's out there"
floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 red balloons floating in the summer sky
panic bells, it's red alert
there's something here from somewhere else
the war machine springs to life
opens up one eager eye
focusing it on the sky
as 99 red balloons go by

99 decision street, 99 ministers meet
to worry, worry, super-scurry
call out the troops now in a hurry
this is what we've waited for
this is it boys, this is war
the president is on the line
as 99 red balloons go by

99 kriegsminister
streichholz und benzinkanister
hielten sich fuer schlaue leute
witterten schon fette beute
riefen: krieg und wollten macht
mann, wer haette das gedacht
dass es einmal soweit kommt
wegen 99 luftballons

99 dreams i have had
in every one a red balloon
it's all over and i'm standin' pretty
in the dust that was a city
if i could find a souvenier
just to prove the world was here...
and here it is, a red balloon
i think of you and let it go

Sunday, November 25, 2001 | 12:26 a.m.

she bop--he bop--a--we bop
i bop--you bop--a--they bop
be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop
i hope he will understand
she bop--he bop--a--we bop
i bop--you bop--a--they bop
be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop
oo--oo--she--do--she bop--she bop

Saturday, November 24, 2001 | 07:49 p.m.

color sex guide

i totally forgot about this test *laughs* until someone asked me a while ago what my favorite color is.

Saturday, November 24, 2001 | 07:37 p.m.

a lot of people need to remember that the internet doesn't have a tone. when you say certain things ... they can come off as harsh. especially when you don't know the person that well.

Saturday, November 24, 2001 | 07:07 p.m.

d'oh! updated my journal ealier

Saturday, November 24, 2001 | 04:57 p.m.

sameer**: Kevin: "Mmmm, you smell nice."
sameer**: lol
sameer**: That's what he said when we first hugged and kissed. I think it's this new conditioner I bought...
wingd_pony: do i have to get the hose for you two
sameer**: lol
sameer**: No, I'll just use his...
sameer**:
wingd_pony:
sameer**: lol
wingd_pony: that thing could put out a fire
sameer**: eeek, don't get me thinking about that...it's scary lol
wingd_pony: hey ... you brought it up, bucko
sameer**: that's what he told me too that day things got a little hot on AIM hehe
wingd_pony: brought it ... up. get it? huh? hehe
sameer**: lol
wingd_pony:
wingd_pony: lol whoa!
wingd_pony: out of control!

**smileys copied from my yahoo! messenger.

Saturday, November 24, 2001 | 07:02 a.m.

i'm lying naked in bed while soft rain drops hit my window. starting to drift off to sleep. finally. so... where the hell are you?

Friday, November 23, 2001 | 09:30 p.m.

corn pops and grape juice do not go good together.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 | 11:43 p.m.

- kitty
- aol
from - angel

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 | 12:18 p.m.

... i fuckin hate the holidays.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 | 12:05 p.m.

so tired. i'm in white plains and i feel like just walking back to the train station, jumping on the first train back to the city and just go back home. i feel i got enough sleep but i just feel drained. plus ranger isn't totally gone.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 | 10:12 p.m.

i'm utterly saturated with ranger right now. and you know what? it doesn't feel half bad. i feel way beyond sad and i don't want to talk to anyone right now. i just want the jaded thoughts to continue swirling for a while before i go shower and go to sleep.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 | 09:44 a.m.

note to self: check out

'world sex records' from ten

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 | 01:41 a.m.

very cool forum for diarists

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 | 01:33 a.m.

note to self:
never never never ... ever drink a day old chocolate milkshake from mcdonald's! you hear me? never do it again!

ever dagnabit!

Monday, November 19, 2001 | 02:36 p.m.

sometimes if i could have an orgasm without ejaculating ... i'd be very very happy.

Sunday, November 18, 2001 | 06:12 a.m.

got back a while ago from watching the meteor shower. it was so beautiful. going to sleep now.

Saturday, November 17, 2001 | 11:58 p.m.

you just ... never get used to it. so easy to slip. so easy to feel alone.

so tired of issues.

Thursday, November 15, 2001 | 09:34 p.m.

i need a new word for 'tired'. not exhausted, worn or the like. a whole new word and my picture right next to it. or ... maybe just my picture. no words necessary.

Wednesday, November 14, 2001 | 11:26 p.m.

updated my journal

so much for updating here daily huh. busy busy busy busy. and equally tired. tera and relm have been pretty quiet lately too. they share my mood i guess.

... ranger's here.

Monday, November 12, 2001 | 11:27 p.m.

i have this weird feeling about tomorrow. i don't know why or what it is. maybe a really shitty day? a really good one? i just feel something big's gonna happen either way. i'll cross my fingers and hope it's good.

i have no valid reason to have a shitty day tomorrow. i'm on top of everything. my laundry's done. fridge is stocked. i'm munching on sun chips. things are good.

Monday, November 12, 2001 | 10:34 p.m.

updated my journal

Sunday, November 11, 2001 | 11:38 p.m.

is it really really corny to email someone you spent most of your day with just to tell 'em you had a good time? blah.

the sketches i needed to fix aren't done. my laundry's not done. but i had a really nice weekend and i'm going to sleep now.

Sunday, November 11, 2001 | 03:32 a.m.

comic: megatokyo

Sunday, November 11, 2001 | 03:30 a.m.

comic: penny arcade

Sunday, November 11, 2001 | 12:23 a.m.

mouse watch:
relm's been bouncing around in the cage a lot more than usual lately. and it's not until a while ago i realized why. the wheel wasn't turning. they did some redecorating again and pushed too much litter on the wheel so it couldn't turn.

so to get exercise, relm's been hanging from the top of the cage and being extra hyper. i fixed the wheel though and she's running on it like a fiend.

tomorrow ... hand-feeding them cheerios to get them tamer.

Saturday, November 10, 2001 | 11:36 p.m.

how can i not like gay.com's chat for the comic relief? i mean ... really. it's impossible:

...BJamesUWS-NYC Vandals
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum the Hatfields
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum The McCoys
Mark_NYC_1976 What are you going on about?
BJamesUWS-NYC Goths
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum The Shirelles
BJamesUWS-NYC Huns
BJamesUWS-NYC Ostrogoths
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum Hans & Franz
winged lol @ Balls' screenname
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum Osteopaths
BJamesUWS-NYC Visigoths
Mark_NYC_1976 And your point is?
* Please say hello to Patrick......: Chubby 50 y.o. romantic guy. Love to cuddle..
BJamesUWS-NYC McCoys
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum lol Winged
* Please say hello to weekenh: 27 just chillin.
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum sometimes you mustnt spare the rod
winged i guess. were they really bad?
CHADs_WORLD lol@winged
CHADs_WORLD ur bad
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum lol
DisciplineMyBalls&FeedMeCum bad, balls! bad!
winged can't you just take away dessert?
winged maybe no tv for a week?

Saturday, November 10, 2001 | 06:15 p.m.

i don't know anyone else who loves pringles as much as kick-ass james.

ginger ale in a can has more ... bite!

Saturday, November 10, 2001 | 06:06 p.m.

kick-ass bitching forum

Saturday, November 10, 2001 | 04:49 p.m.

so ... some guys were talking about soccer last night on gay.com's chat:

soccer dave/mass: anth what position
Anth-19: mid/def
austin.: damn...
Anth-19: you?
soccer dave/mass: center forward
Anth-19: cool
soccer dave/mass> and i do love being forward
austin.: i like doggie.. *grin*
* Please say hello to Prince-Caspian: has no chat bio..
grav: oh god
* Please say hello to CollegePerv: 23, 6'1, 180, 7.5c - yng - pvt.
winged: lol ooooh boy
austin.: lol
soccer dave/mass> i like a man behind me
austin.: ohhhhh... soccer postions
Trunx22: lol
soccer dave/mass: lol

i would say that something like that can only happen in a gay chat room but i'd be lying.

i'm gonna go see monsters, inc. later. i wanted to see it with ben next week but ... screw that. i'm bored, home alone and i really do want to see it. plus, movies at the galaxy are only 5 bucks.

Friday, November 9, 2001 | 11:22 p.m.

Your Birthday Horoscope
Friday, November 9, 2001
- - -
SCORPIO: You'll be feeling powerful and passionate when it comes to romance. An old flame from the past could get in touch with you all of a sudden after months, maybe even years, without any contact. You could find their attention flattering, and may be fascinated by the way they have changed. At the same time, a current or potential romance could be heating up. This is a good day to think about your real romantic goals, because many options are going to be presented to you shortly. You are about to see changes in this department soon!

This Day in History By The Associated Press, Today is Friday, Nov. 9, the 313th day of 2001. There are 52 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

On Nov. 9, 1965, the great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up to 131/2 hours.

On this date:

In 1872, fire destroyed nearly 1,000 buildings in Boston.

In 1918, Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He then fled to the Netherlands.

In 1935, United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization.

In 1938, Nazis looted and burned synagogues as well as Jewish-owned stores and houses in Germany and Austria in what became known as ``Kristallnacht.''

In 1953, author-poet Dylan Thomas died in New York at age 39.

In 1963, twin disasters struck Japan as some 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust explosion, and 160 people died in a train crash.

In 1970, former French president Charles De Gaulle died at age 79.

In 1976, the U.N. General Assembly approved 10 resolutions condemning apartheid in South Africa, including one characterizing the white-ruled government as ``illegitimate.''

In 1988, former Attorney General John N. Mitchell, a major figure in the Watergate scandal, died in Washington at age 75.

In 1989, communist East Germany threw open its borders, allowing citizens to travel freely to the West; joyous Germans danced atop the Berlin Wall.

Ten years ago: Police in Hong Kong forcibly repatriated 59 Vietnamese boat people, carrying them onto a transport plane. President Bush returned from a four-day European trip that included a NATO summit. Singer-actor Yves Montand died near Paris at age 70.

Five years ago: President Clinton used his weekly radio address to condemn the decision of the nation's distillers to end their voluntary ban on airing hard-liquor ads, calling it ``simply irresponsible.'' Evander Holyfield upset Mike Tyson to win the WBA heavyweight title in an 11-round fight in Las Vegas.

One year ago: George W. Bush's lead over Al Gore in all-or-nothing Florida slipped beneath 300 votes in a suspense-filled recount, as Democrats threw the presidential election to the courts, claiming ``an injustice unparalleled in our history.'' Hussein Abayat, a West Bank militia commander, was killed by a missile from an Israeli helicopter gunship.

Friday, November 9, 2001 | 11:08 p.m.

random chat morons always make me laugh:

chatmoron**: im big and hard
wingd_pony: cool. i'm sure you eat all your vegetables
chatmoron**: yes you
wingd_pony: yup. i love vegetables
chatmoron**: my nipples are so hard
wingd_pony: cool. you know, men can get breast cancer too. you should get tested
chatmoron**: for what
wingd_pony: for breast cancer
chatmoron**: you got to be kidding
wingd_pony: nope. in fact. statistics of men getting breast cancer is going up
chatmoron**: im hard and strokeing
wingd_pony: cool
chatmoron**: 8x5
wingd_pony: cool. almost a full leter-sized sheet of paper
wingd_pony: did you know that paper cannot be folded more than 11 times?
chatmoron**: palying games
chatmoron**: no time for bullshit
wingd_pony: you do? i like games too. i kick ass at play station
chatmoron**: that's all you know

....then ...why bother messaging me? there's nothing on my yahoo! profile suggesting i'm looking for sex.

Friday, November 9, 2001 | 07:02 a.m.

i've been 22 for about 7 hours now and already i'm fucking up. i totally didn't hear my 5:30 alarm and i just had to call norm to tell her i'm not making it in the city for ... um ... 7. now i have to take the train to greenwich.

happy birthday to me, again!

blah!

Friday, November 9, 2001 | 12:58 a.m.

happy frickin-birthday to me. i have to be up in 4 hours. why the hell am i not asleep?!

Thursday, November 8, 2001 | 11:17 p.m.

updated my journal

so in about 43 or whatever minutes ... i turn 22. is it right for me to feel old already? i've been chewing a lot of bubble gum the past couple days. trying to retain some of my youth, maybe? hehe

thanx to this great guy i know, glen. he's hosting my images for me on his site for a while. i'm beyond grateful. best damn birthday present!

Wednesday, November 7, 2001 | 01:06 p.m.

crappy ... crappy ... crappy crappy ... crappy ... craaappyyyy ... crappy

cra...
...ppy... crappy.

ugh.

Tuesday, November 6, 2001 | 10:50 p.m.

tomorrow i have to get up at 7:30 and i really don't feel like getting up. at all.

Tuesday, November 6, 2001 | 01:00 a.m.

my eyes and cheeks feel warm.

Tuesday, November 6, 2001 | 12:55 a.m.

ranger is all over me right now. i felt it coming and i kept him off for a while. but now ... now i'm close to crying. my birthday coming up, being broke, stupid broken images, being ignored by norm. it's like nothing and everything's getting to me right now. right ... now.

i just wish i could be .... necessary.

Monday, November 5, 2001 | 08:40 p.m.

i'm so tired right now. plus i feel myself falling sad. i had a pretty decent day, though. got everything done. everyone's happy. for now. stupid images are broken again. i'm pretty much out of options ... so i'll keep my diary locked for a while. when i log into timecities, they say my account doesn't exist.

great.

i'm seriously going to bed early tonight. i don't even really feel like talking to anyone. i'm just glad i got all my work done.

Monday, November 5, 2001 | 03:06 a.m.

i finally finished cleaning every single picture. i'm so drained right now. the cool part is ... the first set of pictures took forever because he wore white sneakers. the second set were a breeze compared to the first. mainly because the model wore more black than anything else. taking out the background was just so much easier. i'm actually not really tired but i know i'll fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow.

i'll get up and just through the photos into the template i pretty much have set up already for the cards.

i had my alarm set for 7 at first but then changed it to 8.

Sunday, November 4, 2001 | 06:02 p.m.

mouse watch:
i cleaned the cage earlier and now for some reason ... the wheel doesn't squeak at all. i think relm's frustrated. she's running on the wheel like a maniac. maybe she liked the squeaking a lot. like almost bouncing around on it. sometimes dangling and right around with the wheel. it's so funny. and there's no sound. it's weird. she's too cute. tera's grooming herself in the nest.

they're the perfect pets for me. we all stayed up all night until around 8am. only thing is ... i got up 4 hours later and they were still asleep. if i could just get them to be tamer.

Sunday, November 4, 2001 | 04:49 a.m.

i wonder if corn pops are bad for mice? i wanna give tera and relm a couple as a treat but i don't want them to flip out or go gremlin on me. it's way past midnight.

Sunday, November 4, 2001 | 04:29 a.m.

i need a bigger sugar rush, dagnabit! i'm drinking swiss miss with marshmallows and munching on corn pops. need more sugar!

i just finished sorting through the pictures of the models for the fitness cards i have to work on. started around 12:20. four frickin hours! and all because the moron who burned the cd have everything screwed up. the thumbnail pictures don't match the actual pictures. hmmm and how many pictures you ask? good question. um ... over 600! and because keri made a note on the thumbnails ... i had to go through printouts and match the file i have to work with with the thumbnails.

i don't want to go to sleep until i've at least cleaned half of the pictures. this is the only break i'm taking. tera and relm are up, too. wheeling and being weird. looks like they've had more sugar than i've had. the really funny part is when one of them stops wheeling and dangles upside-down.

mmmmm ... corn pops are so good. if there's a story in the news about a boy in jersey found frothing at the mouth because of a massive sugar overdose in front of laptop ... um ... that would be me.

Saturday, November 3, 2001 | 11:55 p.m.

michelle branch - everywhere

turn it inside out so i can see
the part of you that's drifting over me
and when i wake you're never there
but when i sleep you're everywhere
you're everywhere

just tell me how i got this far
just tell me why you're here and who you are
'cause every time i look you're never there
and every time i sleep you're always there

chorus:
'cause you're everywhere to me
and when i close my eyes it's you i see
you're everything i know that makes me believe
i'm not alone whoa whoa
i'm not alone

i recognise the way you make me feel
it's hard to think that you might not be real
i sense it now the water's getting deep
i try to wash the pain away from me
away from me

repeat chorus

i am not alone
whoa, oh, ooh, oh

and when i touch your hand
it's then i understand
the beauty that's within
it's now that we begin
you always light my way
i hope there never comes a day
no matter where i go
i always feel you so

'cause you're everywhere to me
and when i close my eyes it's you i see
you're everything i know that makes me believe
i'm not alone

'cause you're everywhere to me
and when i catch my breath it's you i breathe
you're everything i know that makes me believe
i'm not alone whoa whoa

oh, you're in everyone i see
so tell me do you see me?

Saturday, November 3, 2001 | 11:46 p.m.

i finished a red bull a while ago and it's kicked in already. bouncing off the walls already. yelling michelle branch's 'everywhere' at the top of my lungs. woo hoo! i love that song. i'm just waiting on my last sailor moon episode to download before digging into the work i have to do. i'm totally in work mode right now. i'll finish half of them tonight and the other half tomorrow.

Saturday, November 3, 2001 | 09:06 p.m.

... i wish i could make everything ok for everybody. vicky's bummed out because of her horse and i just wish i could do something.

i sorta feel ... weird somehow. in a while i'm going to drink a red bull and get started on the work i have to do. i'm just waiting for a download to finish so i can restart my laptop.

i was reading through my yahoo! messenger archives a while ago and ... i miss patrick.

Friday, November 2, 2001 | 11:43 p.m.

who the hell messages someone with 'what are you?'

'human ... last time i checked.'

i also love the 'you are a gay. suck my cock!'
...um ...yah. because 'gay' is synonymous with 'easy'. like 'female' is synonymous with 'cooking and cleaning'. so why not message some random girl with, 'you are a girl. cook my dinner, do my laundry and ... suck my cock!'

go get a life, loser.

Thursday, November 1, 2001 | 10:16 a.m.

updated my journal

Thursday, November 1, 2001 | 02:04 a.m.

mouse watch:
ok, i have to find a way to oil tera and relm's wheel. the damn thing's getting louder. i think they did something to it. they pulled a martha stewart today while i wasn't here. when i got home i realized they made some changes again. i think they're sneaking a cable hookup into the cage and watching the discovery channel when i'm not here. i'm gonna work on getting them tamer on the weekend. i was at a website earlier that gave tips on stuff like that. basically i have to dangle stuff they like and get them to eat it from my hand. i know they like honey nut cheerios. i'm not sure if they're allowed to eat 'em though.

Thursday, November 1, 2001 | 01:33 a.m.

after seeing the word 'november' in that last blog .... i realize how much i love that word. and not just because it's my birth month.

... really.

Thursday, November 1, 2001 | 01:13 a.m.

i'm seriously addicted to this song...

jewel - standing still

cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights
trying to keep it clear, but i'm losing it here to the twilight
there's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right
you aren't in sight, you aren't in sight

do you want me, like i want you?
or am i standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
or am i standing still, with the scenery flying by?
or am i standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
was that you passing me by?

mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night
between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right
i roll the window down, feel like i'm gonna drown in this strange town
feel broken down, i feel broken down

do you need me, like i need you?
or am i standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
or am i standing still, with the scenery flying by?
or am i standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
was that you passing me by?

sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow
sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow

do you love me, like i love you?
or am i standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
or am i standing still, with the scenery flying by?
or am i standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
was that you passing me by?
are you passing me by?
do you want me?
do you need me, like i need you too?
and do you want me, like i want you?
are you passing me by?